Halloween is here. For the last 2 years, we had our first stint on Halloween celebration when we were in US. It is a big thing in the States and everyone takes pride in doing up their houses to make them look haunted, errie and scary. Last year, we had a simple pot luck halloween party at our place. The kids came in colourful, cute but ‘not so scary’ costumes as most of them were still babies and toddlers. It was Malcolm first attempt at trick and treating, going around the neighbourhood, knocking on doors, collecting sweets.

In Singapore, few people celebrate Halloween and I won’t be surprised if this year’s halloween turns out to be just another ordinary day since it falls on a weekday. I thought it will be pretty cool to do something with Mal even if means no trick and treating on that day. We started making craft a month before the day, simple decorations to hang at our door. We hand crafted quite a bit of things this year, meant more for killing time at home and to keep us both entertained and occupied. Doing craft work with him definitely beats playing Lego planes with him.

We started trick or treating at Auntie Chweeling’s house, followed by Auntie Marilyn’s house and then more houses around the neighbourhood. For each house we visited, we added a few more kids to the group. By the time we reached the last house, we had more kids than we expected. Each house we went, the kids would chant along Mal’s halloween greeting song.
‘Trick or treats,
Smell my feet,
Give me something
Good to eat!’
We had more fun than we thought, Malcolm collected more sweets than we expected.

Hopefully we don’t get any warning letter from the management for being too noisy and rowdy!here’s some craft for the housethis year we didn’t get Mal any costume, his last year’s chicken costume was too small. We made his treat bag and helmet using paper mache. It was fun and very very economical!mal was the only one with costume

mal and charlene with their scary face

trick or treats

more treats
we missed out the party at clarke quay…heard it was fun.

literally means My Good Boy, in french

My french course finally kicks starts this week. It has been fun yet tough, exciting yet apprehensive, tiring yet satisfying. Going to school again with Daddy feels like the good old days except that this time Malcolm will leave home with us every morning. We told him that we were ALL going to school!

For the past few mornings, Daddy has been the one walking Mal to his class and handling the morning ’separation anxiety’. Mal would burst into tears, cling on to him and come up with all sorts of reasons or excuses to get himself out of school
‘I don’t like school’
‘I want you to bring me to the toilet’
‘I need to pee’
‘I want a kiss’
‘I want a hug’
‘I want mummy to pick me up earlier’
‘I want mummy to pick me up after we have lunch’
‘I want to give mummy a hug’
‘I will miss you’

I was spared this heart breaking moment as I would normally bid him goodbye at the car park and would sneak outside his class to check on him after that. This went on for the past few days.

Today as usual, I bid him goodbye at the car park. Daddy walked him up to his class and I slowly sneaked up behind them and checked on him through the glass entrance of his class. I was outside for less than 5 minutes when I saw Daddy walked out with a bright smile on his face. There was no crying, no whining, no tantrum throwing and no bargaining.

When we reached home later in the afternoon, he came into the room and said
‘Mummy I have something to tell you about school today’
‘This morning, I asked Daddy to go in with me into the class room for a little while‘
‘Then I hold Daddy’s hand a little while‘
‘Then I let go of Daddy’s hand’
‘Then I let Daddy go’

He was trying to explain to me how he managed to hold back his tears this morning. It may sound trivial. But I know that this is a giant leap for my little boy. I am happy. I am proud. I am relief. I am contented. I can’t ask for more.

Il est mon bon garçon. vraiment. (He is really my good boy).

p/s : and if Mal goes school tomorrow, it will be the first time in 3 weeks he attends school everyday for a week!
He wanted a picture of us with him so that he can see us whenever he misses us in school. We printed this for him and packed it in a plastic sheet.

so this is what I can do when there is no school

go swimming with Mummy! and best if you have a ’surf board’ He calls himself the ‘Pilot Surfer’… whatever that means

Mal’s hassle free drop off at the childcare every morning lasted for 4 days. On Friday, he woke up telling me that he did not want to go school. He changed his mind with a bit of persuasion but clung on to me when he entered the classroom. I talked to him, explained to him, distracted him but all failed. He would give me reasons, excuses and cry hoping that he would come home with me. So on Friday, I brought him to school and I brought him home again. We had a deal, he has to go school on Monday and he agreed happily.

On Monday, he woke up fresh and excited about going to school. He changed his clothes, had his coco crunch with milk breakfast, brushed his teeth and all set to go school. But the moment we entered his classroom, his mood changed. Tears started rolling down his cheeks when he saw me turned to leave the room. More hugs and kisses only seemed to make things worse and soon he was bawling and the teacher had to hold him back while I walk off.

When I came back to pick him up later, he was bouncing with glee, eager to show me the craft he had made and tell me how much fun he had. When his teacher Mrs Manu told him she wants to see him with a happy face the next morning. He was quick to agree. But the same thing happened again the next day. This went on for the whole of this week and finally, today I decided to give him a break and give myself a break.

I wonder whether all kids go through this phase…

felt like a private investigator, hiding in the car to capture this shot. So cute! the kids were out for a stroll around the school. You learn to appreciate the greenery more after staying in desert Arizona for 2 years!

I hang around in school to make sure Mal was alright before leaving. Mal was the first one in the line with red hat
a little incentive for him to go school, I promised to bring him to the airport in the evening…and we were at the budget terminal where the view of aircraft taking off was better than at T2 viewing gallery!

but the terminal really looks ‘budget’… for a while I thought it was a temporary building as it was built using plaster board and there was a ‘budget’ cafe inside, Hanes.

After all these years, I still think our bedroom is the coziest corner in our house. I will definitely miss this room if we ever move to another house.

Enjoying…

~ my late breakfast
~ 1/2 hour leisure swim
~ soaking in the jacuzzi or simply undisturbed shower
~ the lush landscape around our estate
~ 1/2 hour leisure jog on the treadmill
~ organizing my thoughts

while Mal is in school.

Looking for a school for Mal was a tedious process. It took us close to a month to find a school for him. Out of the 5 schools we visited, and a few more we called which have no vacancy, we chose this one which is about 15 minutes drive from our house. Considering the course that I will be taking is going to be from 9 to 12 everyday, we need to put Mal in a half day childcare instead of a preschool .

In Singapore, a 3 year old can either attend a childcare or a preschool. A preschool is normally a 3 hours program, twice or 3 times a week. For childcare, they have half or full day and it starts as early as 7 am and ends around 1 pm for half day and 5 pm for full day. We decided to put Mal in a childcare for obvious reason.

Each morning, I will send Mal to school at around 9.30 am, just in time for the 1st lesson of the day and pick him up at around 1.30 pm. Each day, he will spend around 4 hours in school, which to me is pretty long, considering that he has never attended any formal school. The daily program includes a 1/2 hour breakfast at 9 am, which I skipped cos I thought it will be good to have breakfast with him in the morning at home, 1/2 hour shower, which I also skipped, as I don’t think I am ready to have a stranger bath my little boy. Maybe they will teach them how to bath by themselves, but the thought of having left over soap residue, partially shampooed hair make me decide to tell the teacher that she could skip the shower for the time being. I would have skipped the 1/2 hour lunch if not for the lesson after that.

The principal, a Malay lady who seemed like a fantastic teacher and a passionate nurturer, showed us around the school. They have a big and spacious hall area with full length mirrors. I love this area and could almost imagine the kids running around, skipping and zooming around with wide open arms like birds soaring in the sky. I love the space. They have a shared restroom for both boys and girls, with mini potty and sink and towel area low enough for the kids to wash and dry their hands.

I was particularly distracted by the colorful decorated classroom. Everywhere I looked… colourful charts and artworks were splashed on every inch of wall, containers of crayons, pencils, markers, glue, craft bits, puzzle boxes, toy boxes, a shelfl of paper plates painted craft, hand made lanterns of different shapes and design, teeny tiny chairs, miniature tables - it was all so deliciously youthful, but I felt my heart sank with heaviness knowing that my little boy will do all this cool stuff, and I won’t be there to see it.

It is tough. I am excited for Mal for this new phase of his life. Yet deep down, a part of me is utterly terrified of all the negative new experiences and influences he’ll face without me. Dealing with peculiar social norms, friendships, disappointments, loneliness, rejection, embarrassment, bullying, fighting. Every day when I fetched him from school, I asked about what he did in school, whether he speaks up in class, whether he learn anything new, whether he find out more of his friends’ names, whether he tried any new food for lunch or finish his bottle of water. I just hope he will tell me everything. Knowing that he actually pee on his own during his first day of school made me so happy and proud yet heartbroken as my little boy has grown up.

These few days of school has been emotional for me. I was happy yet heartbroken, knowing that my little boy has to grow. He is able to do things without ME around. I guess I just have to learn to let go, have a bit of faith and remember that life is full of good things to learn and experience, esp for a 3 year old.

p/s: when I picked Mal up from school on the 2nd day, he was eager to tell me that he had carrot for lunch. Mal never like and refuse to take carrot. When I asked him why this time round he ate the carrot, he turn to me gleefully and said ‘So that I can grow up to be a pilot!’
what we thought him at home and what he learned in school, does work hand in hand.

YES, It is Mal’s first day of school. After weeks of hunting, we finally found a school for him which both of us like. We decided to put him in the school for several reasons.

1. I intend to take up a french course, which requires me to be in school everyday from 9 to 12.
2. To let Mal follow a routine which I have problem enforcing when he is at home
3. To let him socialize with more kids
4. To let him get use to being away from Mummy and be more independent.
5. He is ready to attend school.

On the way to school this morning, he asked again whether we are going to the school with a big swimming pool. There is pool within the school compound.
Mal was supposed to start school 3rd Oct. Unfortunately he fell sick on Children’s day which was the 1st Oct. It started off with fever followed by really bad cough and slightly runny nose. The cough was accompanied with lots of phlegm and he puked a few times for the last few days, which is good as it helps to purge out the phlegm. We never bring him to the doctor and I realized that unknowingly, we had grown accustomed to the medical care in US, that is, to self medicate. Bought cough medication over the counter and gave him some fever reliever. Thankfully he is recovering now thus was able to start school this week.

Mal was a bit shy when he first arrived and wanted me to be with him when Mrs Manu, the teacher in charge of his class, introduced him to the class. The class started the day with some outdoor activity where the teacher brought the kids to the playground. I explained to Mal that I need to talk to the principal and to settle some registration stuff and urged him to join the class by himself. He did so and with that, his day at the childcare began.

I was so proud of him as there was no whining, no crying and at the end of the day when I fetched him from school, he told me it was fun and wanted to come back the next day. I realised he meant it when I heard him telling our neighbour that he needs to go school the next day instead of going over to their house and play. After dinner, he asked when he needs to sleep in order to wake up in time for school the next day. He is that eager to go school!

His achievements for the first day in school are….finish his full bottle of water within 1/2 day and finish a bowl of porridge all by himself! We know he can drink more water than he usually drinks at home, we know he is capable of finishing his food on his own, but most of the time we have a hard time convincing him to do so when he is at home. Maybe we are too soft on him, maybe we never discipline him enough. I realized it is not easy to teach a child everything at home or maybe it is just us. For now, I am happy to let the school discipline him for a change, to let his peers influence him to do things he never want to do when he is at home.

Me : ‘Why do you like school?’
Mal : ‘because I can play with my friends’
Me : ‘Didn’t Mummy play with you when you are at home?’
Mal : ‘Yes but not all the time’
Me : ‘Didn’t Daddy play with you?’
Mal : ‘Yes but sometimes he needs to work’

he was told to bring a mug and toothbrush to school. We got him a Pooh bear toothbrush and an old mug redecorated with some of his favourite Mickey Mouse stickers.it was however too big, thus the next day we changed to a smaller one, again with his favourite stickers.

Mal trying to get a cab. Daddy had accidentally brought the car keys with him to work while the car was still parked at our house! We only realised it when we were about to leave home. We had no choice but to get a cab as we were running very late.

Everybody knows that it is tough getting a cab during the morning peak hours. We waited for like 20 minutes and Mal is seen here, tired from all the standing.MY CLASSMATES!

Mal was put into a class where the kids are a year older than him. Most of them were born in 2003.

back from the playground

this little girl from his class was eager to pose for the camera. Mal calls her the girl with ‘Noodle’ hair

Mal playing Unifix with one of his classmates while the rest were having shower after coming back from the playground.

/>Mal with the big big swimming pool in his school compound

Mal first piece of artwork in school. A deer with white spot. He painted on the white spot using cotton bud

His impression of Japan Airport, to be exact Narita airport, we transit there when we flew back from LA to Spore. He spent a few hours the other morning fixing this.

We had unpacked some of Mal’s frequent played toys, arranged them in boxes and stacked them up at every corners of the house. There is a corner for wooden toys and puzzles, a corner for cooking toys, a corner for Lego and a corner for all the other barang barang masak. Mal seems more cooperative to put his own toys back after playing when things are more organize now. Either this, or maybe because he is now playing less of his toys, except for his Legos. He spends most of his time fiddling with his Lego making planes and rockets. He is truly obsessed with planes, rockets and becoming a jumbo jet pilot these days. To the extent that sometimes when we want to make him eat food he refused to take or to drink more water. We have to appeal to his sense of logic, example,
‘if you don’t eat this or that, or you don’t drink enough water, you will not grow up to be strong and healthy. You need to be strong and healthy to be a pilot to fly a plane!’
‘you need to learn your ABCs if you want to become a pilot as pilots need to know how to read before they can fly the plane!’

so far this trick works a little, will have to think of something else when the day comes when he will just tell us ‘It’s ok, I don’t want to be a pilot anymore, so I no need to eat, drink and learn my ABCs!!!’

his huge Jumbo jet Lego which was completed half way in Phoenix. We were contemplating whether to take out this set of Lego which was meant for a 5 - 12 year old. The Lego pieces were very small and the instructions seem too difficult for him to understand and follow. We finally decided to let him play with it as we are afraid that he may lost interest in planes the day come when he is old enough to fix it.

Our boxes had arrived more than 2 weeks…and there are still boxes still unopened and unpacked! It is no joke unpacking 54 boxes worse when we are supposed to vacate our house in a few months’ time. It is going to be busy busy busy for the next few months trying to settle the things here in Singapore before we head off again. As for now, Mal is happy to have all his toys and books back.

Singapore is a crowded city. It is especially crowded when it comes to weekend. Daddy hates the crowd and thus when it comes to weekend, we usually avoid the city and malls area, and there goes my shopping as well. We love going to the beach and parks during weekends and East Coast Park was one of our favourite getaway before Mal came along. Like many places, it is getting more crowded these days but still bearable.

We love East Coast Park for it’s wide open space, abundant greenery and over the years, the hawker center was refurbished and more eateries have sprung up. The good food more or less made up for it’s less than perfect beach and sea.

For the last 2 weekends, we had been hanging out there. We jog, we bowl, we build sand castles, we cycle and blade. We hung out at McDonald’s and feast at the new hawker center. It seems like the good old days, but yet different as we have Mal with us this time. It’s like rediscovering the place again.