one of the nights, before going to sleep, my boy asked me
‘how many more days to go for us to go France?‘
‘why do you ask?’
‘I can’t wait to see daddy’
‘19 more days’
‘how long is that?’
I started counting with my fingers and when I reached 10 and go on to 11, 12,13, he screamed
‘no, no I don’t want! that is too long!’

I realised that maybe missing daddy was partly the reason for his tantrum throwing and rebel recently. It is so far the longest time that Daddy is away from us since Mal was born.

My little guy can easily clock 1/2 hour or more on the phone with Daddy. If not for the free internet phone calls that Daddy is getting from MacDonalds, our phone bill for the month may be enough to buy us a ticket to Paris!

So I did succumb to his plea. We skipped school and ended up at East Coast Park…
We ate breakfast at MacDonalds
We played at the playground
We watched people do stunts with their blades
We cycled and bladed
We ate ’saucy’ porridge
We watched the workers prune the trees
We thought how sad it was for the tree to lose its branches
We listened to the wind, watched the birds and looked at really old treesWe talked,
We laughed,
We thought,
How great if we can do this everyday

‘Mummy I don’t want to bath’
‘I don’t want to sleep, I am not tired’
‘I don’t want to go school’
‘I don’t want to brush teeth’
‘Even if you tell me to do it, I still will not do it’

My boy has reached the stage where he will challenge my decision and talk back at me. I believe this is his way of testing his boundary and my limit. I am feeling so exhausted and stressed out trying to convince him to do the things that need to be done everyday without losing my patience and temper. Most of the time, I will end up raising my voice at him, threatening him and he will end up getting his time out, facing one corner of the room, pulling ears.

The day before, he refused to brush his teeth in the morning and I had to threaten to leave the house without him to finally make him succumbed, with a lot of tears.

For the last 2 days, Mal refused to go to school. I am not sure whether he is doing this to challenge my decision or there really are students in his class whom he dislikes playing with. Maybe it is a mixture of both.

I was so tempted to say ‘ok’ when he told me that he didn’t want to go school, as I miss bringing him out to play and I miss his company but I am afraid that my leniency will be taken advantage of and he will end up not taking school seriously.

I am feeling the brunt of parenthood. I am uncertain, I am lost and I don’t know what to think. Nobody is born perfect but as parent, I felt that I am suddenly expected to be perfect. I have to say the right things, do the right things and I have to constantly be self aware and conscious about the things I do and say as my child is there to watch me and to pick up the good and bad things from me.

And if children are really reflections of their parents, then any bad behaviour display by them is a time for us to reflect on ourselves. It is this knowledge that makes parenthood both scary and exciting. Scary because of the responsibility and influence we have over our children, exciting because we have all the power to mold them into someone, hopefully someone better than ourselves.

I have been planning to get tickets to the Singapore Airshow 2008 , which is around 100 bucks for 4 admission tickets and 1 car pass. The organizer had been very slow in putting up information on their website thus the procrastination in getting the tickets and I was glad I did.

Last week I managed to grab some free preview tickets for the show. It would be great if Daddy was around as he is definitely a better narrator when it comes to explaining and naming out the different aircrafts. As much as I love bringing Mal to the show, I dread the crowd, walking the vast and almost borderless exhibit area under the scorching hot sun and it didn’t help when I was popping flu tablets the night before. It was a hard battle for me to decide whether to go or to forsake the preview tickets. Eventually, the rational mind won over the fatigue body…and I am not so sure I made the right choice.

The static air display was a real let down. We only managed to see 3 pathetic planes at the display, the Apache, Chinook and the F16 Fighting Falcons. I was disappointment yet relieved. Relieved because due to the few display, we had less walking to do and I had less to stress about when it comes to explaining to Mal the different aircrafts we saw.

For the aerobatic airshow, there was no Red Arrows, Blue Angels or Thunderbirds. Instead we had our very own Black Knights, this time featuring all 6 Falcons instead of 2 Falcons and 4 Skyhawks a few years back. The thundering jet engines and afterburner cracking through the low clouds were about the only consolation we get for turning up for the show. I love the noise Luckily for the low clouds that day, the Black Knights had to perform at a lower altitude than usual, heehee

A check on the airshow site finally shows that the Australian Roulettes will be invited to perform on actual day when the show opens to public. Still I wasn’t sure whether I should dump in 100 bucks just to watch a few more turboprop training aircrafts doing stunts.

It has been a very busy and tiring week. The flu bug had struck and for the last 2 weeks, my family members took turns to fall sick. I have been suffering from bout of sore throat, coughing and runny nose since last Saturday. Luckily Mal was spared from the vicious virus. I had to make a conscious effort to keep a distance from him so that I won’t pass it on to him. Not to share cutlery, not to sleep too near him, turn on the fan instead of air con when we sleep so that the room is well ventilated, no kissing esp on the lips etc. But ultimately, I think it was the vitamin supplements that he has been chewing on every morning that helps.

It was one of those times when you feel too sick to get out the house but yet not so sick as to be bed ridden. With a little push and A LOT of effort, I managed to drag my tired self out of the house and do the things that ought to be done.

I surprised myself at how much my sick body can achieved!

Tuesday - we attended ??(ren ri) celebration at Mal’s school, with all his teachers and friends. It is the birthday for everyone and it is the time for Lou Hei for prosperity and Mee Sua for longevity.Wednesday - we celebrated valentine’s day with lunch and flowers, yeah just me and mal. oh and Mal ‘conquered’ the Bugis fountain! He finally mustered enough courage to walk through the fountain but was totally drenched when the water suddenly shoot up. After that, he was running around the fountain wildly, something he will not do normally.
Mal is a rather careful or I should say timid boy. For new things that he has never tried before, he will choose to stand at the side to watch and observe when the other kids are in action. So I was overjoyed when he finally have the courage to run into the fountain and get himself wet. It was an achievement for my boy Too bad I did not bring out my camera with me.
Thursday - we prayed to the sky deity during midnightFriday - we went to the preview for Singapore Airshow 2008
Saturday - we attended our first ever Chingay 2008 at Padang!

It sure was a tiring week for me and a very eventful one for Mal.

My father in law made this tea during Chinese New Year. It tastes sooo good and I crowned it the PERFECT drink for this new year as it aids digestion, reduces body heat and relieves fatigue. Everything I need this new year after stuffing myself with so much oily and heaty food.

The 8 treasures in this tea are
- dried longan
- wolfberries
- red dates
- rock sugar
- tea leaves (as per your preference)
- dried raisins
- ginseng slice
- chrysanthemum

Just add hot boiling water to the above, let it simmer and VOILA! you get this refreshing, thirst quenching, delightful and mildly sweet drink.

If you are trying to impress someone of the older generation, like how I impressed my mum, I bet you will never go wrong with this one!
Mal loves it so much that he down 2 cups of the drink and asked for the 3rd one when we were in my parent in laws’ place!

It is Chinese Lunar New Year, year of the golden rat. We had our traditional family reunion dinner both at ??’s and ??’s house.

As always, ?? cooked steamboat accompanied with dishes of roast duck, pork and chicken from the earlier offering to the ancestors. It is a tradition at ??’s house to pray to the ancestors on new year’s eve morning and to the sky deity in the night. It is a also a tradition for our family members to stay up late after reunion dinner as we were brought up believing that this will increase the longevity of our parents. We call it ??(??) (Shou Sui)?

My 70 year old mother in law cooked up a banquet! It was definitely more than what we could finish and we believe that it is good to have leftover as it symbolized ????, which means ‘have surpluses every year’. The dinner table was filled with a sumptuous spread with food that symbolized all the good things a new year will bring.

On the night before new year’s eve, we went to the old style wet market as all wet markets were open through the night. We visited a nearby nursery to watch ?? in full bloom. We decorated the house with red new year ornaments. We made new year’s goodies and kueh kueh that is ohh.. so sinful yet so irresistible.We ate till our tummies hurt and I am sure to gain a few more inches around my waist this festive season!
Mal was happy to see so many flowers in the nursery and insist on ‘buying’ these flowers for me, which we did, with my $$

Growing up in a low income family, I am brought up believing that one doesn’t need a lot of money to live and survive. Alot of things in lives are luxury that we splurge because we have the power to do so. Money is never enough if we choose to splurge and live a luxurious life.

As a stay at home mum, I understand how hard it is to be taking care of your child 24/7. A lot of times, it can get frustrating and at times, we may even take it out on our spouse but ultimately we are doing it for our own child, not anyone else.

I compare taking care of our child to managing our own financial wealth. There is no one who is in better position to do the job than ourselves. Lack of knowledge is not an excuse but a reason for us to educate ourselves. It is not easy like many things in lives and it is a responsibility that we can hide but can never shirk off.

For the past few days, I have been rather disturbed by the much talked about Maid Abuse of 2 month old baby news in Singapore. I have heard the news, seen the video, read the comment and my heart goes out to the poor baby.

Money not enough is a statement frequently heard and  I think this statement is relative. Relative to the expectations you set in life. It irks me to hear of people harping on this statement when the fact is they can’t give up a luxurious lifestyle. Ultimately it is the children that is facing the brunt of their decisions.

The day you leave the care of your child to a total stranger, you are taking a risk, one with grave consequences that you can never answer to yourself and your conscience. You KNEW it but choose to delude yourself into believing that the worst will not happen, at least not to your baby.
Do you need to take this risk?
Do you sleep better with your decision?
Are you doing this to make ends need?
or is it for a ‘better’ life? a life with bigger house, bigger cars, more comfortable lives,
all at the expense of the safety and well being of your own child.
Does your child need the extra wealth?
or do you need it so that you can pay someone else to teach and raise your child on your behalf?
when she/he may be happier and better off with your company, guidance and support.
If you think you are the Boss ?
Think again.

We made a trip to Chinatown on Sunday evening. It was drizzling, the ground was wet, the car park was full, there were people everywhere, ‘lelong’ men shouting through the handheld speakers, long queue outside the bak kua shop, I had to cling on to my little purse tight just in case there were pickpockets, we had to navigate Mal’s stroller through the narrow and crowded streets. The place was chaotic.

BUT for once, I don’t mind the noise, the crowd, the blasting music, the hassle and the red deco everywhere. I LOVE the ambience, I felt totally immersed in the festivity. It is Chinese Lunar New Year and this is how it should be!

Was at east coast park with an old friend when we saw this …

I have never been a big fan for any actors or singers and I don’t understand the madness of fan club. I rationalise to myself that actors or singers are just human being with a talent (though not always true) in acting or singing. Most of the time they are endowed with pretty faces, flawless skin and perfect body. Looking good is part of their job, thus sometimes talent can come secondary. They are not super human or saint but just a face that we see frequent on TV, cinema or magazines. We may know their lives inside out, cos they are public figures and most of the time their privacy invaded. It’s like a natural process, a price they paid for fame.

Having said this. Yesterday when I saw the acting crew, I still went goo goo gaa gaa like a crazy teenage fan! I was so so happy when me and Mal was granted to take a picture with Zoe and Ann! My old friend who took the picture for us just look at me amusingly, with amazement and probably disbelief. Maybe I am a little too old for such crazy behaviour, I bet my friend has the same rationale as me, just that, mine crumpled to pieces when I actually see the stars, and was degenerate to hysterical, emotional, irrational, prideless being.

I later rationalise to myself that it shall be ok to let go once a while especially if it is for a worthy cause for it is Mal’s first time struck by a star, by Queen of Caldecott Hill!