A few weeks ago, I was told that Mal’s pet fish in Singapore, Nina had died. (post related to Nina) Nina is a male fighting fish with beautiful rainbow coloured tail. It was a gift from my sis. It was Mal’s first pet.
My sister suggested that we should keep the news from him. My parents told everyone not to breath a word. They will replace the fish and Mal will not suspect a thing. Nina will still be alive and everyone will be happy.
Everybody in my family worried about how Mal will react to the news. They had all seen how he turned weepy and teary over his drifted away water bottle and over a wild beetle.
Tell him that you feel sad or if somewhere hurts, he will give you the most sympathizing look and console you in his sweetest voice,
‘Don’t be sad’
‘Don’t think about it, it will be ok’
YES, he is very sweet and sensitive towards people he loves and trusts. I have a SNAG in my house.
I felt sort of silly to let everyone go through the hassle just to keep Mal happy. Spared from the truth and shielded from the reality.
Life is not a bed of roses and I guess it was time we explain death to him.
I wasn’t sure how to do it, I worried about his reaction.
During one of the evening, after dinner, when there was no school the next day, when his mood was good and the sea was calm, I broke the news.
I was expecting him to burst into tears, but he did not, he just asked ‘WHY’
So I told him the lump that was growing near Nina’s gills might have caused him to be very sick and when one gets very sick, one might die.
and I went on telling him
‘Anything that breath and living will eventually die one day as they grow old or when they get very very sick.
Plants, animals, people. That is why it is important to eat lots of vegetable, drink lots of water, keep the body healthy so that we will not fall sick because when we fall very very sick, sometimes even the doctor cannot help us.
When things die, we usually bury them in the ground.
We will dig a hole, put them in the hole and cover them up with soil.’
With this, he asked
‘Did yeeyee bury Nina ?’
I was quick to blurt out a ‘Yes’ not very truthful though as my sis probably had dump it into the garbage bin.
As if it was not clear enough, I continued,
‘When dead things are mixed with the soil, they will rot and decay and become good nutrients for the soil.
Plants will use this good nutrients to help them grow.
When things die, we will no longer see them but we can always remember them in our hearts and we can still look at their pictures.”
Hearing that, he broke his silence to ask for a picture of Nina and I was SO GLAD I HAVE ONE.
With that, he sat quietly on my lap, looking at the picture for a long long time.
I was sure his eyes were teary but this time he didn’t bawl and I was glad I did not have to explain further.
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