It is a Chinese tradition for women to go through 30 days of confinement after child birth. During this period, she needs to follow a certain lifestyle and diet which is believed to not only help her recuperate but also rid her body of any prior illnesses. It is a belief that she will then emerge with a stronger and healthier body after the 30 days.

If you ask my mum, she will probably ramble on about how disobedient I was for not following the confinement rules. To be frank, for both confinements, I did try my best to stick to the rules, BUT, failed miserably. I figured out that to adhere to the stringent lifestyle and diet requires more than just plain perseverance and determination. Without some kind of faith and belief, it is impossible for me to stick with the practice of NOT bathing, NOT drinking water, NOT leaving the house, NOT washing my hair. I can’t imagine the physical discomfort that one has to go through without bathing and washing hair for a month and I think it may just aggravate any post natal depression.

But because my mum is a strong believer in the benefits of doing confinement, I was served like a empress during this 30 days period. I was spared the washing, the cooking, the cleaning. She even helped to bath the baby because I should not touch water.

You can read more about confinement practices and confinement myths busted

It was good to have help during this period when I was sleep deprived and when the wound from the operation still hurts. And when my husband volunteered to help with the cooking during the first week, both my mum and I got a little worried as we knew that it was his virgin attempt in cooking confinement food. But thanks to the internet, he managed to find some really good recipes and served some really authentic traditional confinement food.

So for 1 week, he cooked 6 meals a day, with each meal nicely planned out and written in his diary. I was impressed with how well organized he was and I even thought that he would fare better as a househusband if  and only if he could keep this enthusiasm going, continuing his effort 24/7.

Apart from the usual Red Dates and Longan confinement tea, he tried something called the Fried Ginger Rice Tea which is really simple to make and reminds me of Sikhye, a traditional sweet Korean rice beverage usually served as a dessert. I totally love it !

With my 30 days of confinement coming to an end, on one hand, I may not feel any sense of achievement or triumph for having completed the stringent regime, on the other hand, I no longer feel guilty about flouting all the rules. Perhaps like what my mum said, I will be stricken with rheumatism and a thousand other maladies when I hit 50 years old.

Meanwhile, enjoy this refreshing tea recipe.

Fried Ginger Rice Tea

Ingredients:
300g white grain rice
150g fresh ginger shredded
Sugar to taste

Method:
1) Stir-fry the rice and shredded ginger until dry and golden brown.
2) Remove and keep in a bottle
3) Soak 1tbsp in a cup of boiling water. Cover for 30 minutes.
4) Add sugar to taste
Serve hot.

I am like a walking zombie these days
At 3 weeks old, the little baby is wearing me out with his 2 hourly feeding.

And I thought having breastfed Malcolm for 2 years had trained me well, I realised that it is not the physical fatigue that I couldn’t bear but more of the montonous and unchallenging chore of feeding, burping, changing that have wore me down.

Malcolm was a breast fed baby
He was breast fed till he was 2 years old and nothing could soothe him more than mummy’s breast
He rejected the pacifier
He rejected the bottle
He rejected ALL baby formula
Tins of baby formula went down the rubbish chute as nothin could please his discerning taste bud

When he was about a year old, we gave him fresh milk, in a cup
He started drinking from a cup since a young age
In fact he started using cup when he was born
something recommended by the breastfeeding experts
nipple confusion was what they feared

And because we had done EVERYTHING RIGHT, like what a breastfeeding expert would recommend
I was the SOLE caregiver for my first child for a long time
My baby was totally dependent on me for food and nourishment

The good thing that came out of this dependence was
Our first born went EVERYWHERE we went
We went for our first holiday when he was 3 month old
We dipped him in the pool and he tried swimming  for the first time

It was relatively easy to pack for trips as he was a breastfed baby
All we needed to do when he was hungry, sleepy, thirsty or edgy was to WHIP out my ‘weapon’ and he would be soothed, almost immediately
We saved hundreds of dollar on milk powder
Iron fortified infant formula was new to me
DHA and ARA supplemented milk powder was foreign

The downside to this was
my life revolves around my baby
Nobody could take over the feeding job even when there were eager helpers around

Now with my second baby, I choose to do things a little different.
I am expressing my milk
I am introducing bottle to my new baby
I am handing the baby over to whomever eager to help with the feeding
I am not going to monopolize this feeding job

I started expressing on Day 1 with less than 10 ml of colestrum
then on Day 2, I hit 10 ml
on Day 3, I was getting abit more than 10 ml
and on Day 4, I was pumping 40 ml
By the end of week 1, I was getting 150 ml
and soon I was getting a whooping 1 litre a day!

The baby was happy
I was happy
I felt like a milking machine, literally
and it felt GOOD

I packed my precious extract in bags and bottles
hand the baby to anyone eager to help while I run errands, send Malcolm to school, drop by grocery stores and go for my checkups
I need not have to worry about rushing back in 2 hours’ time because the baby needs to be fed
I was enjoying the freedom
something which I never had before with my first born

Then I got a little lazy, a little complacent
perhaps even a little too smug, for my own good
I started expressing less as if to test the Theory of Demand and Supply
Within a few days of slacking, my supply dropped drastically
I began to panic
I began to stock up on baby’s first tin of infant formula
I reverted back to my 3 hourly milking schedule hoping to regain my supply

Sure enough, the theory proved itself
Within a couple of days, I was getting back part of my supply
As I wrote this, I am still working towards the 1 litre/day

Despite the fatigue, I am not about to give up breastfeeding as I believe that breast milk, time-tested for millions of years, is the best nutrients for babies as it is nature’s perfect food.

And if you ask me, as a mother, breast milk has to be the best thing that I have given to my children so far.

We were a little concern about how Malcolm will react to having a little brother around
He was sure that little brother will be noisy as baby cries alot
And to mentally prepare him, we have been trying to feed him all the good things about being a big brother

Beside talking and explaining to him, we turned to books and here are 2 books that we read to him regularly

Big Brother Now: A Story About Me and Our New Baby
I’m a Big Brother (Padded Large Learner)

Either our effort has been paid off or our worries were unfounded
Malcolm’s affection towards his little brother really took us by surprise

He hugs him
He carries him
He cuddles him
He consoles him with his ‘It’s ok, it’s ok’ whenever he cries
And he even consoles me !
‘He is a baby, OF COURSE he will cry!’

It’s such a relief to see him being so receptive towards his baby brother
and we certainly hope it is not because it is still a novelty.

*fingers crossed*

5 years ago, when I had Malcolm, I was certain and confident that I would give birth to my baby like any others, the way my mum did with her 4 kids, the natural way, through the vaginal birth canal. The chance of me having it any other way, was distant, remote perhaps even nonexistent.

After more than 12 hours of labour, with my cervix still stucked at a dilation of 1/2 the required length, I was told that unnatural  intervention was needed. Malcolm was finally brought to the world under the doctor’s skillful surgical incision. The procedure was brisk but the recovery was arduous and painful.

This time round, for my 2nd pregnancy, I was given the option. Vaginal birth which put me at risk of tearing my 5 year old wound and perhaps see history repeat itself OR pick a good looking date from the doctor’s busy schedule and get it over and done with in a blink of an eye.

It was a tough choice and we chose the latter.

So on that good looking day or more like, convenient day, within an hour or two, the job was done, the wait is over.